Back to School: What I Learned From Working 2 Years

Back to School: What I Learned From Working 2 Years
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I graduated with my Bachelor of Science in Anthropology in 2018, which feels so long ago but it most definitely was not. Getting older (yes, I’m only 24 but bare with me) keeps showing me, time-and-time again, how quickly time flies. One minute, you’re walking onto a college campus with lofty ideas and goals about the world, the next you’re working in a leasing office signing up for your 401(k) as soon as you become eligible. Now here I am, about to walk back onto another college campus but this time…things are different.

The past two years of working full-time has really helped me create a more realistic perspective about life. Don’t get me wrong: I still have my moments of naïveté where I get caught up in dreams instead of what is actually happening; but it’s easier now to cope when reality doesn’t match with my plans. Is that maturity? I don’t know. I do know that, this time around, being a student feels much different – especially since I’m entering law school, a graduate program that is specific to the career I want to do. My time in undergraduate didn’t have quite this level of focus. I feel like I have more to lose and that’s coming from someone who took her undergraduate courses very seriously.

Taking the time to work and really be in the world figuring out what it means to be an adult has taught me a lot of things. I’m going to immortalize a few of those lessons below, mainly as reminders for myself when school gets stressful (because it will), but also to help any other students or young adults figuring out their plans for school and career.

1. You’ve Got A Lot To Learn

I’ve only been in the workforce for two years, okay? I’m no Jeff Bezos or Steve Jobs, obviously. But I could be one day – that day will never come though, if I let my pride in the way. We each will always be students as long as we welcome learning. There are so many people who stop learning because they don’t like the work of it or feeling like a beginner again. Rightfully so, it CAN be horrifying to be back at a starting point but the truth of the matter is that none of us will ever know everything. We might as well embrace that mentality and be open to people and subjects (even if we think we know them well) as opportunities for learning, not perfecting. Pride is your kryptonite to growth.

2. You Have A Lot To Contribute

That being said, don’t discount the knowledge you have. Looking back the past two years, I constantly went from moments of pride thinking I knew what I was doing to crashing into a pit of despair feeling like I knew absolutely nothing. The truth is somewhere in the middle. I would even venture to say that that is the truth for most people: we all may not know EVERYTHING but we each do know SOMETHING. Share that ‘something.’ Use that ‘something’ to catapult your journey and get the learning flowing – don’t hold back your contribution out of fear. That’s just as prideful as thinking you’ve learned everything there is to know about a subject.

3. Goals and Reflection Are Important

I have always been a list person. I like writing them, setting out goals, and making plans. However, I would make so many that I would often forget or be too overwhelmed to go back and reflect on them. James Clear in his life-changing book, Atomic Habits, discusses the importance of starting small and making time to reflect on your efforts. How do you know if you’ve made improvement or not, or the progress of your to-do list if you don’t go back and check it? My outlook on planners and goals are still the same: I love them. However, now I don’t need multiple planners or various lists. Lately, I’ve been working on relying on fewer calendars and lists to make sure I’m not getting overwhelmed and that I’m focusing on taking action, not just planning to take action. I also make time–ideally at the end of each day for daily to-dos and then weekly/monthly/quarterly, as needed, for longer term goals–to see where I’m sitting in terms of progress.

4. Chase Discomfort, Reasonably

A tough lesson I have learned in 2021: discomfort usually means growth. I’m not saying to be reckless or put yourself in dangerous or self-destructive situations – please don’t. I AM saying to go after the goals you have that seem a little scary or intense. If you are working on your mental health, that might mean doing more exposures for your anxiety or learning coping mechanisms that you are not used to. If you are working on your physical health, that could look like waking up earlier and dealing with the awkward transition of living a more active lifestyle (figuring out sleep cycle, handling soreness, balancing cravings etc.) Most people stop their efforts because of that initial discomfort that comes with making a change. Sometimes it’s not even discomfort, it’s just…new territory, and that can be a little frightening. Don’t let that stop you.

5. Welcome Rejection

A big lesson that I’m going to be learning from for years to come is the negative ramifications of people-pleasing and what it looks like to have a healthy balance of concern over others and not being concerned at all. There’s a certain kind of confidence that comes with putting myself in a situation where I could easily get rejected: I’m aware of the potential heartbreak, and yet, I do it anyways. The answer very well could be a ‘yes’ but how will I know if I never try? Learning to welcome rejections and mistakes so that I can learn from them is an ongoing lesson, much like the above lessons as well, but it gets easier to put myself in those situations. Most mistakes are fixable or at the very least, learnable, and rejections, over time, can be overcome. Again, don’t let these hold you back but if they do get you down, don’t stay down. Get up again and keep going.

What are some lessons from work life that have changed you? Share below!

Stay curious,

A #75Hard Journey: 5 Tips For Finishing It Strong

If you’re reading this, I’m assuming it is because you’re intrigued about potentially doing the 75Hard Challenge, or perhaps the whole LiveHard Program (created by Andy Frisella – you can check it out here). From what I’ve noticed: people either love or hate health/fitness/wellness challenges – there is usually no in-between. Most people who are sick-and-tired of hearing about it are going to peace out as soon as you start talking with a similar tonality as Tony Robbins – and that’s okay! Not everyone is into this kind of stuff and some people are. If YOU are, keep reading and watching along for my testimony and five tips to help you finish #75Hard.

To start, I gave my whole testimony in a YouTube video below. It outlines how I used 75 Hard to not only prepare for law school but also intentionally-kind-of-unintentionally as a supplement to my prayer and spiritual practice as well. If you’re interested in hearing a more personal testimony, what I did and did not do for the challenge – watch below!

If you’re here just for some tips in the case that you are starting your own personal 75 Hard Journey, I’ve listed my top five takeaways for finishing strong!

My Tips For Finishing #75Hard:

  1. Make The Tasks Easier on Yourself: At the beginning of each week, as well as when you first start the program, set aside time to plan and schedule in as many of the tasks, or what you’ll need to complete the tasks, as you reasonably can. Go ahead and get a gallon-sized water bottle (or half gallon and fill up twice), get the app so you can just check off tasks as you go ($5 for life), commit to what types of workouts you’ll do and print them out/save them somewhere so you can just refer to them and get them done without second guessing, and set an alert to take the progress photo at a time you know you’ll get it done (for me that was best in the morning).
  2. Set Yourself Up For Energy Not Burn Out: if you’re going from not working out barely at all to working out twice a day, be realistic about what your body can do. At the beginning, I told myself three main activities would be my baseline (if I do something different or more, great!): walks, running, and Pilates. By having three types of activities that I would rely on, I didn’t waste time trying to figure out what to do. I had only one of three things I could pick from for that workout. With the Pilates, I picked one main person after trying a few different YouTube accounts – again, it cut down on decisions: just go to their page, pick out the latest video or line up enough videos that I hit the 45 minute mark. This was also a great way to learn more about a particular type of exercise, in my case, Pilates; as opposed to changing it up so often that I don’t learn about proper form, intermediate/advanced sequences etc. (Move With Nicole’s YouTube page is my favorite!)
  3. Stop the Doubting: not everyone is like this but if you doubt yourself and second guess a lot, this will help. Set limits and boundaries. I picked the Mediterranean diet as my “diet” which is inherently not restrictive. So, how in the world would I know if I cheated? For me, I drew the line at no processed snack foods, fast foods, or sugary items like soda. Any of those would be considered a cheat meal. Everything else is fair game: that being said, I was still very stingy with grains, chocolate (I stopped eating dark chocolate on Day 4 to challenge myself even more) etc. Once you have that limit set it will help any doubt you might have as to whether you’re doing the program “right.” This is also a great mindset for stopping doubt in other areas: pick exercises you know are doable but still challenging, pick books that are interesting but perplexing and maybe even complex and so on.
  4. Have Accountability Partners: it is much easier to quit something when you haven’t told anyone. For me, I told myself I would share this journey with my Dad and therapist so I could have accountability on it and also vent to people when it got tough. By week three I was starting to talk to anyone and everyone about it because my mental/emotional health had taken a 180 degree turn for the better and others were noticing too! It’s hard NOT to talk about this when you see such big changes! I am now in a group text of five other likeminded women who are on their 75 Hard Journeys and it’s amazing to be a part of as well as witness.
  5. Understand Your Why…Then Tape It Somewhere You’ll See It: why are you doing this? For me, it was both spiritual and as a way to prep mentally and physically for law school. I wanted to know that I could manage my time, commit to something and see it through all the while creating healthier habits for the long-term. Sit down and really consider what it is about this program that allures you to it…what repels you? More than likely, your “why” is buried somewhere in between those two dichotomies – what you want to get from the program and what keeps you from doing it. Pick out that “why,” tape it where you’ll see it, and get started.

These tasks force you to think ahead, plan, and be on top of your schedule. All of which is going to more than likely change your sleep schedule, your routines, your planning – this is GOOD. The fact it is for 75 Days, which is only the first of four total phases in LiveHard, is super exciting because it makes creating real long-term change in our health and wellbeing that much more attainable. If this is how I feel now at the end of these 75 days, imagine how I’ll feel next year if I can complete Phase 4.

“75 Hard is truly about changing your life and mindset for the better.”

Should You Go To School? Tips For Deciding on School, Graduate School, and Work

This is a big topic and it’s one that is so underrated. I wish that I had more people in High School (honestly, before then) who really sat me down and taught me how to reflect on my skills, interests, and passions to come up with a game plan for my future. The main focus when discussing college, was always: which school are you going to and how to get in. Never was it: is school the next best step for you right now? If so, what kind of school? If not, what kind of job or experience will you pursue next?

I wish the discussion as to whether I should go to school or not had been more of a pronounced conversation. I remember having two counselors at school who questioned me as to why I wanted to go out of state but they never took the conversation further. So, I want to have the conversation that I wish I had because this discussion is not just for those in High School. The questions at the heart of this matter is not just: “what college are you going to?” but “what is your vision?” and THAT is a very important question for anyone at any stage of life.

School vs. Work: What ‘Should’ You Do?

First things first, let’s talk about the most glaringly obvious question here that everyone faces in our American society at some point: will you go to college or not? School is a wonderful privilege to have. It is a tool. Some people have sharper tools than others when it comes to this arena and some people have the completely wrong set of tools for what they’re trying to build. Yet, we live in a society that treats school as a Rite of Passage instead of a toolbox and I firmly believe that is setting us up for failure and financial insecurity.

There really is no ‘should’ in this situation – it depends on your plan for yourself. Looking back on my experience, I didn’t have a clear-cut plan, I knew the subjects I was interested in and had different ideas of careers I might pursue but nothing solid enough to make college the best next step for me, and yet, I went anyways. It is at this point where we face a crossroads in trying to figure out what we should do with our vocations: do you not go to school simply because you don’t have your whole life mapped out? No, I don’t believe so. However, going to school simply because “everyone does” or “you need to to be successful” as many people would have us believe, are not good enough reasons either.

As with many things today, there needs to be a balance between having an end goal that we work for and being flexible when times and visions change. Most importantly, we really need to teach this balance to the upcoming generations; otherwise, they run the risk of getting stuck like many today over decisions they made when they didn’t have the proper tools and discernment to make them in the first place. Essentially, the skill I am talking about is resiliency and boy do we need that now more than ever.

We Need To Have A ‘Why’ As Well As A ‘How’

Here’s my opinion: school is good and I think people should go to school if it is necessary for your end-goal, whatever that may be. If it is not necessary for what you want to do in life, then there is no need to go. We often equate our degrees with intelligence but this is false equivalency – think of all the people who cheat their way through school, who “just get by” and end up with the same piece of paper as those who work hard for it. Can we really measure intelligence and success just by getting a degree alone? Plus, there are many people who didn’t go to college, and some even high school, who are incredibly intelligent and successful now, how do they factor into the equation?

So what are we missing?

We’re missing our reasons for pursuing school or work – the ‘why.’ This will ultimately determine our decisions. If you are in my situation and realize that you want to be a lawyer, school is the next best option. If you were like me in high school and kind of all over the place with interests and passions: working for a year to get a concrete experience of some sort or getting your basic requirements done at a community college would be the next best step. I believe that would have been the next best step for me because my solution would have allowed me to experience different developmental settings (still being in school but also while working) thus matching the state of life and mind I was in. I was nowhere near ready to commit to a specific school and degree so I should have put myself in a situation that allowed me to try and do different things to determine what was right for me.

Why are we investing and committing years of our lives to things we have not properly discerned are right for us?

This isn’t to say that you take so much time thinking about your options that you never make a move. Ultimately, it’s going to come down to taking action and making a decision to see what the result will be. You may pursue a career only to find out five years later that you want to do something different. Who says that you made the wrong decision? It’s not wrong, you just evolved and that’s normal. That being said, what we should be aiming for here is that balance we talked about in the first section – resiliency. The first decision we make shouldn’t put us in a situation where we can no longer evolve or change our mind if we do. Again, a balance between commitment and flexibility is key and yet, sorely lacking.

How We Can Change The Game

So how do we change these extremes? How do we create a better atmosphere for education and career development that can nurture people of all talents and backgrounds for their vision? A few suggestions of mine would be:

  1. Stop treating a school or career decision as if it will determine the rest of your life. You may spend twenty years working for the same business or twenty months. Neither one is wrong as long as you are able to sustain yourself. We need to be able to set goals, pivot on those goals when challenges arise or opinions change and then put an action plan in place to pursue those goals.
  2. Stop treating college as the only option: college is good but not for the person who doesn’t know what they want to do or knows what they want to do but it doesn’t require a four-year school. You do not need a degree to be successful.
  3. Stop having these conversations about school until we can make the financial side of it the majority of the discussion: if you can afford to go to a four-year school “for the experience” that’s great! But that’s not the case for most people. I am now inundated with private loan debt (that I brought upon myself) for going to a school that I should have thought much longer and harder about attending. I accepted because they offered the biggest scholarship but that scholarship was not big enough to offset the out-of-state tuition. People need to have a better understanding of personal finances if they are going to decide whether they go to school or not – and that applies to anyone at any age.
  4. Stop treating graduate school as if it’s worthless: there are in fact some people who need to go to graduate school to get the career that they want. That path is not for everyone just like not going to school is not for everyone. The problem in this situation lies in why people are needing more and more degrees to do what they want to do but that issue does not rest upon the shoulders of any one person. Nor can it be solved overnight.
  5. Stop treating community college and trade schools as “less than” liberal arts or four-year schools: there is an unspoken snobbery that comes with pursuing these options instead of going to a four-year university and/or a liberal arts college. If I could go back, I would have stayed home, taken my General Education Requirements from a community school, and worked part-time before deciding on going to a university or not. These options are GREAT options for those who are in an interim period where they are deciding what they want to do next or know what they want to do but don’t need to go to a four-year school to do it.

One of my friends knew she wanted to be a nurse and she knew the nursing school she wanted to attend. She ended up going to community college and nannying for the first two years out of high school to take the pre-requisite credits she needed to get into her first-choice nursing school and to work on her application. She is now graduated from said school and working full-time in her dream job.

I know of people who never went to school who are working hard in fields they love and those who are still in school going on their sixth year of higher education to receive their Doctorate in a field they are passionate about – what do they all have in common? A vision. That vision doesn’t necessarily have to be a lifelong one but it does need to help you decide as to whether you should go to school or enter the workforce (or something alternative, which I’m going to discuss in a video tomorrow!) Everyone’s definition of success and happiness is going to be different so why would we treat our careers and education as a one-size-fits-all system?

Final Thoughts

If you are in the process of deciding what to do next in terms of school or career, I encourage you to reflect on the following three things to help make your decision:

  1. Finances: will the reward outweigh the cost?
  2. Result: will it move you forward, closer to where you want to be in life?
  3. Why: why are you pursuing this decision?

If you can not answer these three questions then I would step back and not make any decisions until you can. Even if you are in High School – I don’t care what people say, it is okay to not go to school right off the bat. And to the young adult (or even older adult) who is considering a career change or going back to school, these reflections still apply! The goal here is to make a decision knowing that it moves you closer to what it is you desire; if you’re not sure if it does that then stop and re-consider. Can you even say in detail what your goal is? Stopping to re-evaluate or deciding to take time to think things over doesn’t mean you never go to school or change careers, what it does mean is that you are being more intentional about this decision-making process than what society is currently encouraging us at the moment. This is your life and you deserve to treat every decision as an important one because it is.

At the end of the day, if the only thing holding you back is fear of failure then you’re in a good spot…pursue the next best step that will put you in a situation where you are closer to your dreams.

“Pursue the next best step

that will put you in a situation

where you are closer to

your dreams.”

KimberMarie Faircloth

My LSAT Journey: What Was Good and What Was Bad

My LSAT Journey: What Was Good and What Was Bad

Every student and lawyer I go to for advice on law school, the LSAT, being a lawyer or any other related legal topic, always prefaces their wisdom with a healthy dose of negativity:

“[Classes] could be going worse.” 

“You will stay up until midnight studying and have very little sleep and social life.” 

“Don’t go.” 

Most of the time, they’re coming from a place of humor but I’ve always been a firm believer that jokes always have truth in them somewhere. While I appreciate authenticity and transparency when giving advice, there is an art and nuance to giving it in a way that is both honest and encouraging. Most people, including myself at times, could use some training in this art-form. 

So, if I’m going to be giving you a little taste of my LSAT-prep-and-testing journey, I want to make sure that I give you both the positive and negative of what I went through. Keep in mind, I am DEFINITELY (did you see the emphasis on “definitely?”) not an expert on LSAT prepping. I’ll leave that to Kaplan, The LSAT Trainer, and The Princeton Review. However, my experience is one that others, I’m positive, have also gone through and one that can be learned from just like anyone else’s. 

I like to end on a good-note so let’s start with the things I could have done differently or better

  1. I should have signed up for the test earlier. That should have been the first thing I did when I decided that I was going to take it. As I started studying, the lack of a firm deadline floated underneath the surface of my subconscious the whole time. While I did have a vague timeline in my head of when I wanted to be done with testing and I approached the LSAT with a study schedule, topic logs etc from the get go, I still had not committed to it. Plus, with that deadline, I could have properly staged my studying period for it. I began to burn out about a month-and-a-half before the LSAT. I kept studying but I remember a lot of the content feeling more foggy and was not nearly as focused as I should have been. 
  2. This next one I go back-and-forth on but have a feeling that many people would attest and say, I should have taken the test again. That’s right, I only took it one time. Take that for what you will – I scored an average 153 and that was the score I needed to get into the school I was looking at with a scholarship. However, I did decide as I was putting in applications (way before then actually) that should I not get accepted, I would take a break over the holidays, sign up for the LSAT again, and try the next year. If you have the opportunity to take the LSAT again, I would recommend it unless your score is truly at a place where you can be content with it. For me, I knew I could have done better had I switched up my study game but that being said, it got me the result I aimed for so I’m still on the fence with this one. 
  3. Having a study partner would have been very helpful with accountability and challenging myself more. If you are in your undergraduate years studying the LSAT, count your lucky stars! This is a great time to take it and if I could go back I would have forced myself to take it the first time, at least, during college. I would have been able to network more easily with other pre-law students, study together, have more time to study, and have the benefit of pre-law, on-campus resources being at hand. 
  4. I would have focused more, from the very get-go, on practice tests and quizzes. I started off taking a practice test and followed The LSAT Trainer for the first four months, I learned so much from the book itself but my test-taking ability and applying what I was learning needed honing. For whatever reason this has always been my issue in education – I understand the subject matter but then applying it is the hardest and I would imagine a lot, if not most, could commiserate with that! I would have doubled the exposure to quizzes and practice tests if I could go back even when I was already taking them consistently.
  5. No comparing. Comparison is the thief of joy. I am good at asking for help, advice, and gleaning lessons from other’s wisdom (it is the Anthropologist in me). However, sometimes being too concerned about how other’s approached situations can paralyze me from making my own. Do not let this blog post, or any other post or piece of advice you receive keep you from moving forward. Make the next best decision you need to for you, okay?

Now. The irony is that the majority of the things I would have corrected are things I commonly heard from other law students about their experience with the LSAT – and all of them had varying degrees of where they went or what they were doing. The point: studying, just like learning, is different for everyone and at the same time, the majority of us are going to experience similar feelings, fatigue, and fears with the LSAT. You are not alone. Keep working and you will get there! So, let’s end on a good note of the things I did well…

  1. Immediately when I started, I created a study plan. Actually, a lot of the planners and logs I utilized in the beginning were from The LSAT Trainer’s Student Resources (highly recommend them!) plus, he has different study schedules you can use if you need help determining when and for how long you should study! *This is where having a set date for when I needed to be done would have been ideal – I ended up just studying with no end in sight until I finally committed to a test date. No bueno.*
  2. I changed methods when it suited me. About four months in, I had had a conversation with an acquaintance about his LSAT journey and he said the number one regret he has was not taking a prep-course of some kind. I mulled over that for a bit because I, too, was self-teaching. In the beginning, I felt good and I could see improvement, small but improvements nonetheless, in my scores anytime I would take a practice test. However, I did feel a lull anytime I sat with the book and my pencil – I was starting to hit a wall. Ultimately, four months before the test I signed up for Kaplan’s Self-Guided Online Prep Course. I felt refreshed, I didn’t need to think too hard about what I needed to do next because Kaplan pretty much laid it all out for me, I just needed to do the work. 
  3. As I stated above, it’s good to get advice from others until you start to get too concerned about how others did things. It’s a double-edged sword: you absorb wisdom by asking people about their experience without actually having to do what they did BUT you then wonder if perhaps it would work differently for you should you do what they did (or vice versa, NOT do what they did). At the end of the day, I think it’s always better to ask how others approached the LSAT. It’s interesting to hear (at least to me) and helps provide perspective. Just don’t ruminate too much on how Sally studied 6-weeks before with a tutor and improved her score the second time or John self-taught himself 6-months before and scored high the first time…it truly does not and will not help you. Focus on you and the improvements you are making and will continue to make if you keep working
  4. Although I struggled in the deadline department, I DID have a goal for schools I wanted to attend and more so, how I wanted to finance my law school career. I wanted scholarships, just like we all do; however, I was never tied body-and-soul to one particular law school which gave me freedom to look at my score, see what my options were, and then decide whether I should go for it or try again. The alternative would have been aiming for a particular law school and taking the LSAT until I got the score I needed to attend that school. Just because you get accepted with that score does not mean you will get scholarships though which is why I focused more on my score first before picking schools.
  5. I stayed hopeful. I would be lying if I told you that I studied from the end of February/beginning of March all the way to November with gusto, organization, and constant improvements. I work full-time and have a handful of other commitments that I also had to budget time into – there were periods that I fell off of my study plan. That being said, I kept trying, switching things up as needed, and at the end of it all, I consistently kept coming back to my study books and at long last, showed up for the test.

I actually came very, very close to throwing in the towel the day of out of nerves and fear. I didn’t because I knew I would regret that even more than scoring really low – so, stay hopeful even when you make mistakes, score lower than desired, or the subjects start to run together. There will be an end and you get to decide when that is! If you score low? Try again. If you end up not taking the test for whatever reason, give yourself some time then hop back on the horse. If you get rejected from your dream school because of your score, try. Again. 

The LSAT is learnable and you are coachable. That only stops being true when you decide it is false. 

“The LSAT is learnable and

you are coachable.

That only stops being true

when you decide it is false.

-KimberMarie Faircloth

“Is This The Path For Me?” Three Tips for Discerning Career, School, and Big Life Decisions

I wish I could say that I had a lightening-bolt moment where the heavens opened up around me and harps played signaling that my life’s calling was to be a lawyer. Alas, that did not happen. However, what did happen, which I find to be all the more meaningful and personally empowering is the process by which I landed on this decision to pursue becoming a lawyer. The earliest I remember being interested in this were at various times throughout middle and high school growing up – random daydreams usually after hearing a lawyer talk about their career or seeing something eventful or interesting on television. Then the urge would dissipate as I became distracted by one of my many other interests.

As I entered the College of Charleston, I flipped back and forth between different paths (as most students do). I knew for a fact I wanted to keep my Anthropology degree but was lost in where to go from there (a subject I will dive deeper into in the future). I remember buying an LSAT prep book but never getting past Chapters 2 or 3 and never committing to actually signing up for the LSAT. The end of my college career was a whirlwind – I ultimately dropped a minor so I could move back home and finish my last few classes online a semester early to be close to my mother who was diagnosed with cancer. I don’t regret that decision.

Fast forward to 2020, it’s the beginning of the lockdowns in March due to COVID-19. I have a little more time on my hands since I’m working from home with no commute to work. I had spent the last year in my first “big girl” job as a leasing agent with full-benefits and good pay for a great company after facing around six-months of unemployment post-graduation, with the exception of part-time time gigs found by a temp agency.

One of the first days of lockdown, I remember texting my sister asking her opinion on what she could see me doing and if she could see me being a lawyer.

“Will it make you happy?”

“Yes, I think it could and I think I could be very good at it.”

I had my answer. I started prepping for the LSAT, which I would later sit for in November, finally feeling more secure in my purpose and the life I wanted to have moving forward. All that being said, there’s three MAJOR details that I want to emphasize for any fellow future-law students, college students figuring out their next step or anyone who is discerning a potential career change. Looking back on my journey, I’ve found that these three things played a large role in my decision-making process that I feel will help others too:

#1: Talking to People

Quick: who are the people closest to you that you can trust the most? Whoever came to mind, write their names down. Use them as sounding boards for your discernment process. These people should know you very well and should be people that you can go to about anything but who will give you honest answers. For me that was my Dad and my sister with a few very close friends. Ultimately, their opinion should NOT be the defining voice in your plan – you should be. So, even if they tell you some opinions you don’t want to hear, take their input and really mull over it. If it upsets you, reflect on why. If it excites you, reflect on why.

The other people you should be talking to are those who are doing whatever it is you want to do. When I worked for the temp agency, I landed a part-time job working for an Estates Lawyer which would later be very impactful in my decision. I got to see the day-to-day of one type of lawyer, the good and the bad that came with her position, as well as at least one area of law in practice. That experience, plus gaining advice and guidance from that lawyer and hearing her journey through law school helped me start mine. I also relied on other friends and acquaintances who are either going through law school or have already graduated and are out “in the world” (some working as attorneys and some not) to gain their insights.

This website also has a great outline for preparing and discerning law school: What Do Lawyers Do?

#2: Data Dump

If you’re going to pursue something, especially any sort of professional or graduate degree, you need to know what you’re getting into. More than likely, after talking with people who are in the field, they’re going to give you resources. Some more helpful than others.

Use them.

You don’t have to treat them like the Bible – after all, everyone’s experience is different – but they will help you get a more holistic idea of what you are or might be pursuing. I’ve read articles written by people who have been left in debt, embittered, and regretful of their time in law school as well as heard from those who are successful and happily running their own law practice or working in law now. Both help and are necessary to listen to for a fuller understanding of what it means to be a lawyer.

Research the different industries within law – trademark, cultural heritage, environmental, corporate etc. (If you’re pursuing a different field, do the same, I assure you there will be many different subsets and industries wherever you’re headed). Look at the current growth rate for lawyers, which sub-industries are booming, bar passage rates for your school (or those you are interested in applying to), different law schools in your area, day-to-day experiences of different types of lawyers etc. the list goes on and on. Take in as much as you can about the career you’re interested in and then see what excites you and what does not. If you start to get overwhelmed, step back, take a break, and pick up at a later time.

A great place to start, the American Bar Association.

#3: Visualize

So, this is going to be the part that is most ‘woo-woo.’ Yes, I want you to visualize yourself as a lawyer. Use all the experiences that you’ve heard and details you’ve researched to paint a picture in your head.

Here’s the catch: don’t just envision success.

You could pursue law school to find that you hate it, it’s not at all what you want to do and/or it’s much much harder than you ever thought it could be. The opposite could also be true: it may be something you love, it’s exactly what you expected, and although it is rigorous, you’re doing it. Most of us are already daydreaming anyways, the key here is to visualize both the good and the bad.

If visualizing the bad really makes you uneasy and question whether you want to move forward maybe you need to step back and explore more before making a decision. If you can’t even imagine what the day-to-day of being a lawyer means except whatever you’ve seen on Law & Order or Suits, then DEFINITELY step back and do more research. I’ve had many law students who look at me and answer my question: “how is school going?” with:

“it could be worse.”

Yikes! Granted, I don’t blame them – I’ve heard that law school itself can be very detrimental to mental health – I’ve had a couple friends warn me to not drink too much as they’ve seen many colleagues grow dependent on drinking for relaxation, coping with stress etc. Should this scare you or me away? Not necessarily! But that’s exactly why “visualizing” both the good and the bad of a profession will help you determine if it is truly the path for you – specifically focusing on overcoming the “bad” can also help profoundly.

If you don’t believe me on the power of visualization, check out “The Extraordinary Power of Visualizing Success” by Matt Mayberry, CEO of Matt Mayberry Enterprises.

Finally, Take Action!

So, those are the three main things that I’ve done and continue to do while preparing for law school! They helped immensely with my discernment over whether this path is for me. Although I am understandably nervous about starting school, I’m more excited than nervous even though it is extremely challenging, time-consuming, and mentally/emotionally taxing. If you’ve done these three things and nerves are still keeping you from pursuing a career or a dream that all-in-all feels like your next best step, here’s your sign to pursue it. Most people often don’t succeed or get the life they want simply because they refuse to take action. The steps above will get you nowhere if you don’t ultimately make the decision to try.

“The steps above will get you nowhere if you don’t ultimately make the decision to try.”

Actionable Steps:

  1. Talk to people you trust and those who have experience with what you’re setting out to do. Learn from them: listen, ask questions, take notes, and reflect on what they’re sharing with you – the good and the bad.
  2. Research as much as you can about your interests, create a full picture of the industry or career you want. You should be able to walk away knowing what you need to do to achieve it, the different paths to getting there, and to be able to explain to others what it is you want to do.
  3. Visualize yourself doing what it is you want to do – visualize success as well as failure, can you see yourself overcoming failure? Persisting with the career or idea in spite of adversity? If not, then perhaps you need to step back and take more time to research, shadow, and reflect before moving forward.
  4. Take action – make a decision!

Who is the Joyful Servant?

“How about the Joyful Servant?”

My good friend, Faro Palazzolo, recommended the title to me a little over two months ago while I was in the midst of considering, yet again, starting a blog. I have about two to three different blogging attempts under my belt and a handful of unfinished, unrealized ideas swirling around in my brain or left printed on my desk. Yet, this name stuck with me. In fact, it kept knocking at my brain much like the outdated sales representative still making door-to-door visits in 2021.

Originally, I had toyed with the name “The Faithful Servant” to honor the last words of Saint Thomas More, Henry VIII’s advisor before his execution for not converting and pledging allegiance to the King’s new religion: 

“I die the King’s faithful servant, but God’s first.” 

– Saint Thomas More

I get chills every time I hear or read those words. While I cringe at the thought of considering myself God’s faithful servant since I so often fall short of such a powerful title, I do aspire to it. Plus, I have found friendship with Saint Thomas More while working towards law school this past year and his example is one that often inspires me. On the other hand, I have also had a loving devotion to Saint Phillip Neri, who was and is known for being joyful. He was a man known for walking barefoot through the streets of Rome, singing and laughing – and teaching others, especially homeless or orphaned children, how to sing and laugh. A legend often attributed to his life was that he would go to confession only to have his confessor merrily shout, “Allegramente! Allegramente!”

“Joyfully! Joyfully!”

Yet, ironically, joy does not come easily to me. I am very much an “Eeyore” on the outset but rest assured, my inner-self aspires to be someone much like Saint Philip Neri. When I walk into a room, I want people to feel comfortable, safe, and…well, joyful. I know what it is like to sit in grief and loneliness, despair and depression. It is not fun. It is dark, and even scary at times. All the more reason that I seek to make people feel joy and hope because if I knew for a second someone has felt what I have, then my heart immediately breaks for them. But there is always light in the darkness even if that means we have to spark it. 

So, here we are. The Joyful Servant published and reared to go – but where? In the past, I had fallen victim to being too niche in my blogs and in other areas too broad, experiences leaving me with social media whiplash trying to determine what my “brand” is. A statement I shudder at but nonetheless must consider. My brand is me. So that is what you will find here. 

More importantly, joy is a virtue that can be worked towards. It is not something that necessarily comes easily to all people and when it does, it is often pockmarked and scarred with the realities of life: loss, hardship, suffering. And even with those wounds, joy can still be felt. Above all else, that is what I want to express in every word, paragraph, and period. 

For transparency’s sake, my life right now looks like someone gearing up for law school this Fall. I have spent the last, almost-two-years working as a leasing agent for some apartments. I write, read, and bake in my spare time while also constantly going on quests to find ways to live more intentionally. That will be a word you will hear very often from me but I hope in a way that brings you tangible action items so that you can live intentionally too. To me that means: living unabashedly who you are but in a way that accounts for the impact you have on the people and things around you. 

“Living intentionally means living unabashedly who you are but in a way that accounts for the impact you have on the people and things around you. 

Courage coupled with compassion, if you will. 

At the end of the day, all of us are Joyful Servants in the way that we choose to serve our personality, skills, and existence to this world. We very much have control over this even if at times it seems to be at the mercy of external circumstances.

Essentially, if you are looking for someone to both celebrate and commiserate with about the adventures of life or ways to infuse your existence with more joy and hope much like a soft-bag of tea fills a cup of hot water, this is the place for you. All are welcome because all are in need of a little joy. My main concern is that whether you are a rising law student like me looking for advice or experiences to learn from, a child of God looking for companionship on our journey to Sainthood, or just another average Joe who wants to read something lighthearted and intentional for once in this vacuum of snarky, cynical bad-news then, welcome!

Oh, and if you don’t mind or feel inclined to, say a little “hello!” and introduce yourself in the comments below. The internet is a lot less cold and nefarious when we fill it with kindness and connection – consider this your first tip for living more intentionally. Thank you for reading and being here, your time is appreciated more than you’ll know.

Allegramente, 

KimberMarie

Courage coupled with compassion, if you will.